FEARLESS

March 19, 2018

FEARLESS

Call upon the name

The name of the Lord, who's sure to save.

He is on my side,

He has come to light my way.

Song. On. Repeat. These words have been the words of light getting me through these last few days. After the first ten days, I think it was in my mind that it was a vacation, to help me get through those first days easier. Then when they were over, I'm used to going home, not MOVING to a NEW home. Arriving in Olomouc was not at all what I was expecting... Not even close. I know the Czech is still recovering from Communism but I was never expecting to not even have WiFi in my dorm... (how first world did that sound?!) but honestly. All of us UNK students are mixed throughout different dorm buildings, which I was expecting but I still wasn't prepared, and not being able to communicate with one another without WiFi, ARE YOU KIDDING?! We'll have to write each other letters and send them Harry Potter style... So even though I had already been in Europe for ten days, I think I was still recovering from all the culture shock I had endured and everything else we had dealt with. Olomouc is not at all similar to London or Paris in ANY way... Abbie and I were again sleep deprived so to say everything came to a head when nothing went our way, again, it was breakdown after breakdown all over again. At least this time we were with 21 other people who were, in some form, going through homesickness, too.

But isn't God funny? I just find His sense of humor very dry but yet it cracks me up. I got "Fearless" tattooed on my arm right before I left Alabama and yet here I am living entirely in fear because nothing has gone MY way.. living entirely in my box of fear. MY box because I'm too terrified to let my own guard down and let God break down my walls to show me what He needs to show me through all of this. As Abbie and I had another deep talk last night, I told her, and she brought to light, that we are here for ourselves. We are here for a purpose that we don't yet know and I 100% believe it's for God to re-teach me how much I need HIM to live out being "Fearless." That's what I love about tattoos, they're almost like scars out there for everyone to see... People always tell me I'm so fearless and adventurous, "you've gone to Alabama and it went so well, you can do this!" This may be true, but it is no way the same and this is no way easy. I'm not being Fearless and now that it's out there for everyone to see, I have figure out how to rely solely on Him to BE Fearless.

You are stronger,

You are greater.

Nothing I face, could ever separate me.

Your love is wonder,

Your name is splendor.

Nothing could change,

The love You have displayed for me.

As most of you know, I came home from Alabama still very much broken and broken in a lot of new ways. I had received healing in a lot of areas in my life but He had re-opened wounds and sent me home to heal those wounds. He knew I couldn't run and I wasn't running away from my problems, but changing from who I used to be was a lot easier being halfway across the country. I had a lot I had to deal with, forgive, change and recover from. And let me tell you, I didn't hit "rock bottom" again last summer, but since I got home, I miss my church, my friends and everything Alabama brought me. Moving home was a huge slap in the face and I back-slid. Bad. I made horrible mistakes I promise I would never make again but I felt just as alone when I moved home as I did when I first moved to Alabama. This fall got easier but leading a Bible Study, or attempting to, the enemy was at my throat more than I had ever experienced and he definitely got to me. All in all, this semester here, feeling alone, going through many of the same emotions that I went through in Alabama, have definitely prepared me for these next nine weeks. I know how to better handle myself, I know I'll breakdown and want to go home, I know things won't go my way all the time, I know I'll have to put myself out there, but God is having to teach me that even more here, and that's okay.

I won't tremble,

I'm not shaken.

You're on my side,

You're walking right beside me.

In every victory, every heartache

You understand,

I know You have a plan for me.

AND God makes me laugh even more because not only do I have a permanent "scar" on my arm, He allows me to eat my words... a.k.a. "Not by Sight, but by Faith"... I was 100%, again, living by sight and in no way by faith... I pushed faith out of the way and completely thought the world was ending when I got here. Completely on worldly terms, not God's terms.

My God has come to save,

Your powers has no end.

You are my shield and strength,

You show me who I am.

My god has come to stay,

Your love will never end.

You've overcome the grave,

You are the great I Am.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote all of the earlier last week after I had finally settled down. Now it's a week later and wow how God has changed my perspective! I'm on my third day of classes, History and Czech Language, and it's quite interesting! I'm very into the language as it's not as hard as I thought it would be. The history classes are mostly WWII based and what the Czech Republic, central Europe and Europe in general went through during that time, post war and what led up to the war. Part of these classes include all of the trips that we get to take as a class throughout the next few months! These include: Prague & Bohemia - many places in the Czech Republic, Poland - Krakow and other cities, the Schindler Factory and possibly Auschwitz, Dresden, Germany, Vienna, Austria, Venice and other places I'll travel with some of my classmates on the weekends that we have open.

I stayed here in Olomouc this weekend as it was SO cold, windy and snowy... It felt as cold as it was over NYE in Western Nebraska... I also packed for spring and not for the old weather we're enduring.. I'm so ready for spring and warm weather!!!! I went through a few museums, to the different malls around here, out for a drink on St. Patrick's Day at an Irish Pub, explored more of the city and ate at some great places! Czech Golaś (goulash) is by far my favorite food! Not anything like what we eat in America and you can't go wrong on the coffee or the deserts... So I'll be consuming entirely too much sugar... This little city we're in has so much history that I can't wait to learn more about! We got to see the city walls, walked a lot around the two city centers, went into many churches, saw where the Jewish Ghetto used to be during WWII, went to an old armory within a fortress that is now turned into a fun-center/museum. I haven't gotten very good pictures because it's been so cold and dreary... so I hope to get better ones as I continue to explore when it gets warmer!

This country is also very atheistic because of Communism... So it's no wonder I've been feeling the way I have, God has other plans for me here and the enemy is trying to interfere and make me want to go home. It's comforting to know that in some way, somehow, God is going to work through me here and I can't wait to see what He has in store.

"I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27

Song: Call Upon the Name - Highlands Worship

One of the enclosed fortresses outside the city limits

An old armory turned into a museum

inside

Fresco's inside one of the classroom buildings

Inside one of the Cathedrals

Cobblestones and Chacos - a wonderful combination.

Looks like a kaleidoscope - dome in the Cathedral

Another church

can vaguely make out the city walls

The clock in the upper town square

Outside the city walls they turned the old ghetto into a gorgeous park with many bike paths that are along the fortresses, as you see here

The entrance to the Jewish Ghetto

I don't remember this mans name but he has been teaching at Palacky University for over 60 years. He's 91 years old! Gave us a tour around the city and is FULL of information and history!